I\u2019m going to start blaming random network- and computer-related problems on Bitsharks. Get everyone believing in the idea of predatory bots cruising the network, dining on people\u2019s digital transmissions.<\/p>\n
USER: “Why didn’t my email go through?”
\nME: “Did you receive a failure message?”
\nUSER: “No.”
\nME: “Uhhh, you didn’t send it alone, did you?”
\nUSER: “What do you mean?”
\nME: “Well… how big was the message?”
\nUSER: “Just a paragraph or so. Why?”
\nME: [Dismayed] “And you sent it onto the Internet alone?”
\nUSER: “What, why?”
\nME: “Don’t you know what can happen?”
\nUSER: “What? What are you talking about?”
\nME: [sighs] “Poor little thing. Probably never had a chance. Hang on a sec….” [Types random commands into console.]
\nUSER: [alarmed] “What’s going on?”
\nME: “It’s what I thought. Bitsharks.”
\nUSER: “What did you call me?”
\nME: “Nonono. Bit. Shark. A Bitshark got your email.”
\nUSER: “A Bitshark?”
\nME: “Yeah. Predatory bots cruising the shallow parts of the Internet. They single out the smaller, more vulnerable bits of data, then consume them.”
\nUSER: “Oh my God.”
\nME: [Pained, patient] “Look, just do me a favour. Next time, send your email out in groups. Sometimes the numbers confuse the Bitsharks and the little guys manage to make it through.”
\nUSER: “Oh, the poor thi- I, I… of course.”
\nME: “You won’t forget?”
\nUSER: “Heavens, no.”
\nME: “Good. Tell your friends.”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I\u2019m going to start blaming random network- and computer-related problems on Bitsharks. Get everyone believing in the idea of predatory bots cruising the network, dining on people\u2019s digital transmissions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,4,10],"tags":[57,58,538,539],"class_list":["post-456","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-geek","category-humour","category-soft-core","tag-bits","tag-bitshark","tag-shark","tag-sharkbait"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/village-explainer.kabisan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/456","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/village-explainer.kabisan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/village-explainer.kabisan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/village-explainer.kabisan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/village-explainer.kabisan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=456"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/village-explainer.kabisan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/456\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/village-explainer.kabisan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=456"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/village-explainer.kabisan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=456"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/village-explainer.kabisan.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=456"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}